Counseling Blog | Mindfulness Based Therapy

Sex Therapy for Intimacy Issues

May 14, 2021 by Magamet Borlakov Leave a Comment

When people desire to be in a relationship, they are not wanting or needing company or someone to do things with. Most people look for that perfect relationship because they want real, true intimacy in their life. But what is intimacy, really?

Intimacy is NOT the same thing as sex. You can have sex without intimacy.

Intimacy is TRUE and genuine closeness with another human being. It is a connection that is developed over time. While intimacy brings unparalleled joy into our lives, it can also feel incredibly frightening to some people. Because to be intimate means to open yourself up to another human being. It means showing up, flaws and all, and putting in the work.

Ultimately, intimacy is a wonderful byproduct of an emotional connection that has been built over time by two individuals who deeply love and respect each other.

What Does Fear of Intimacy Look Like?

While many people struggle with a fear of intimacy, not everyone knows the signs and symptoms, as they can be mistaken for other emotions.
People who fear intimacy often have low self-esteem and trust issues. They may experience episodes of anger from time to time and have a history of toxic relationships. Many avoid physical contact and are unable to easily share their feelings or express emotions.

How Therapy Can Help

There are a variety of reasons a person may experience fear of intimacy. From childhood trauma to low self-worth and fear of rejection, people from all walks of life, all ages, and all backgrounds have developed a fear of getting close to another person.

If you believe you have a fear of intimacy, sex therapy is a powerful tool that can help you work through any underlying causes. A therapist can help you identify the root of your trouble and help you weed it out. He or she can also help you heal from any past traumas so you can start to get close and connect with others.

The bottom line is, intimacy is a wonderful part of life. To miss out on it would be a tragic shame.

If you’d like to work with someone on your intimacy issues, please reach out to me. I can provide tools and techniques to help you develop a deeper connection with your partner and yourself.

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Filed Under: Couples/Marriage, Men's Issues, Sexual Health, Women's Issues

4 Powerful Immunity Boosters

April 2, 2021 by Magamet Borlakov Leave a Comment

As we continue to grapple with the Covid-19 pandemic, many of us are wondering how we can boost our immune systems. You most likely know you should take more vitamin C, but here are some other ways you can give your immunity a powerful boost:

Tackle That Stress

When we’re stressed, our bodies produce stress hormones like cortisol, which weaken our immune system. This means when we are under chronic stress, our immune system is under constant attack.

It’s important to find healthy ways to tackle stress. Try exercise, meditation, and psychotherapy to help relieve the burden.

Eat Right

When you eat a typical Standard American Diet (SAD), full of refined grains and sugars and unhealthy fats, you change your gut’s microbiome (the beneficial bacteria that). And guess where 80% of your immune system is? In your gut!

Eat a healthy diet of grass-fed meats, dairy, and organic produce to give your body the nutrients it needs to be healthy and to keep your gut microbiome nice and strong.

Exercise

Exercise is important to keep our hearts, muscles, and bones strong. But in addition, exercise helps us burn through those stress hormones I talked about a little while ago. And, research has found that even a little bit of exercise can have improved microbiome diversity, which leads to a stronger immune system.

Get More Sleep

You most likely know that when you don’t get enough sleep, you feel cranky and in a fog the next day. But what you may not know is that too little sleep night after night decreases our immune function. Most adults need between 7 and 9 hours of sleep each night. Do your best to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day, even on weekends. Also, put those electrical devices away at night. The blue light those devices emit interferes with your body’s natural sleep cycle.

These 4 things may seem like common sense, but are you actually doing them? Making some lifestyle changes to ensure you are tackling stress, eating right, exercising, and getting enough sleep will keep your immune system strong so it can keep you healthy.

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Filed Under: Nutrition

4 Reasons to Start Therapy in 2021

March 15, 2021 by Magamet Borlakov Leave a Comment

If you’re like most people, you brought in the new year with a list of resolutions. And if you’re like most people, all of those resolutions have one goal: to better your life in some way. Whether that is through eating right, working out, learning a new language or decluttering your home office, resolutions are made to help us live our best lives.

In all of these instances (health, weight loss, decluttering) therapy can help.

You see, most people believe mental health therapy is something you seek when there is a major crisis; when we need help navigating depression or anxiety; when we’re going through a big transition, or when our marriage is on the verge of collapse.

And while therapy can absolutely help with all of these scenarios, it offers numerous benefits you may not have thought of:

Therapy Can Boost Physical Health

Different therapy protocols have been shown to improve different physical symptoms associated with stress. This includes a reduction in migraines, digestive upset, better appetite and improved sleep.

Builds Self-Awareness

Many of us think we are running our lives when really, our lives are being run by subconscious programming from early childhood. Therapy helps clients understand where feelings, beliefs and behaviors really come from. Through treatment, individuals can become more self-aware and empowered to take responsibility for the lives they are creating. In this way, THEY create their lives instead of their lives being something that is happening TO them.

Explore Hidden Desires

Of course, self-awareness also means becoming aware of your passions and desires. Many people spend a majority of their life doing what others want instead of what THEY want. And many people simply don’t KNOW what they want in life.
Therapy can help you become an archeologist of sorts, digging into your heart, mind and soul to uncover what it is you value, love, desire, need and want.

Therapy Helps You Reach Goals

It’s the new year and we all have new goals that we are hoping to reach. Well, therapy can help you reach those goals!
A trained therapist can help you set achievable goals as well as help you outline the micro steps you’ll need to take to get there. They can also then act as coach and cheerleader, supporting your efforts to reach your goals.
Yes, therapy is something that you can turn to for depression, addiction, and help with your crumbling relationships. But therapy can help with so much more. If you’d like to explore treatment options in the new year, please get in touch with me.

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Filed Under: General

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